Spent the weekend generally trying to take care of myself... Did some housecleaning Friday, just enough to make me feel productive... But after G and I got done, we sat around trying to figure out why we still felt anxious and dissatisfied. We felt like there was something that we really would rather be doing... and then we finally figured it out. Sex. Yes, Sex. Her breakup is a little more recent than mine, but still, there must have been something in the air, because both of us were just so sexually charged that we were both in danger of making some very imprudent decisions.
Personally, I am at a bit of a loss as to why - suddenly, after 3 months - my libido comes back with a vengeance NOW. I ended up spending the better part of Friday night texting and mercilessly teasing a male friend who is significantly younger than myself, one who has admitted to having a bit of a crush on me for years. Poor guy, he really didn't deserve to be toyed with that way. But WTF? Here I was, racking my brain trying to figure out who I could call for a booty call. The thing that really stopped me is that despite being ready to go out and scrog anything with a pulse and a dick, the fact remains that I am still in love with R. And were the shoe on the other foot, were HE to succumb to carnal urges and go have a quick screw with someone else, I would be crushed. So why, if I am still hung up on him, am I so ready to get physically intimate with anyone who will oblige me? I think it's because, at a fundamental level, I want to feel good again. And sex feels good.
So, I had to settle for watching a little porn and spending some "quality time" with myself. Jeez, the things we put ourselves through.
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